To catch a sheep.

Its an easy concept to imagine. Catching and isolating the one sheep (what we thought was the dumbest) is an easy and painless process.

Well you have four sheep and a majestic ram, who all are as un-trained as the for-Ovis aries of the mountains of wherever they descended from. The only way to collect this small flock of ours is with feed and a roll of twine. Hoping for them to come rushing into the small isolated paddock within their far to expensive pasture. This pasture re worked and wire restrung as many times as the sheep have found a way out. Rushing into what they see as free-er fields ahead, Sadly not the case, for our four legged friends will be on the plate by the time the sun sinks into the sea.

They have a simple life in this field, run from humans, eat food. Wonder into the paddock for grain every late afternoon making sure all humans are invisible. They seem to be happy, with their obnoxious noises and quest for food and fear. Catching them using the twine, grain and quick steps. Tieing the string around the small gate to the sheep lean-to. (Which is what it should be-- However my mothers overly love to share her creature comforts of her life with the sheep, ends with a large sheep mansion, with a catchment system to collect the water from the roof for these sheep).

Tieing the string i disappear, letting the sheep get use to the small white line far above their small heads. Shortly after strolling in with a galvanized grain bucket, as the sun is dropping low with its golden paintbrush. Acting like i had not just appeared with sting (of course not!) Swishing the grain around to make it painfully obvious grain in my had signaling the sheep that their brains can stop working, and that their stomachs should now motivate them. Rushing the grain into the bucket I walk out, hoping for the flock to rush over into the paddock. Hiding behind a dirt bluff, or more a sheep blind, sting in had i wait as they cautiously walk into their lawn in front of their lean-to. Only to find that the gate is attached by chain to the fence, or the dumb sheep stayed outside of the year around their home, or they saw me behind the sheep blind and the multitude of the five attempts leading me empty handed with what was requested, the white sheep.

This continues for another twenty minutes coaxing the sheep with a total of five buckets trying all sorts of ways of sheep ulterior motivation. Hoping the continue the thought process around food instead of fear. Attempt after attempt all hope behind the sheep blind is dwindling. I’ve also discovered what seem to be harmless shrubs around me are actually all covered in strange thorns, that have made happy homes into my epidermis. Slowly I wait for the sheep to see past the strange moving black hair, hope to see it as a new plant maybe…. Well this doesn’t work either.

The last hope as the peanut gallery appears on all sides watching me the soon to be bonafide sheep catcher at work. Running the twine up as far it goes, the fifth bucket of grain in place, I hid crouched waiting for the white sheep( the dumbest) to come within sights of the lean-to. The stickler of a sheep slowly makes its way to the grain as I run as fast as I can slipping and sliding to the string slamming the gate shut. The professionals soon took to isolating the white sheep, with ropes hogtieing it in the back of the truck, Eddie got the glory today, as for Me I’m covered in thorns and thinking of how many beers could have rather been bought instead of the idea that we need sheep. I’m not destined for the shepherd position at Pu’uo kumau ranch. Cows are much easier.

With the sheep set in a smaller paddock all taking refuge as one single entity it was onto the pros to extract the only all white sheep and relocate to a new home, hoping in the end that her stupidity, which is really smarts for she is most fearfully of people, an overall good thing. Leading to a smarter and friendlier flock.

Something I doubt completely.

In other news The tickets have been bought. On September 18th( my 21st birthday) 2008 @ 4pm EST, I’m leaving for Istanbul.

Its official my dream is actually coming to fruition. Hopefully without the need to Sheppard sheep any longer.